Let's Let Off Some Steam...........Tilt!!

Ok, so i have been doing really quite surprisingly well ont'internet recently and am happily building a nice little bank roll up on-line. However, every now and then i slip back into my cyberfish alter-ego and play so badly and loose that i have to physically slap myself and remove that horrible creature that isn't really me from the controls of the laptop.

Oh yes... I can tilt, and sometimes it can be quite unstoppable - an amazing urge to deposit my hard-grafted dough into the sweaty mits of some fat bearded Salem inhabiting trailor trash comes over me and consumes me like a contageous bug. Just this morning i had managed to win $400 in about 40 minutes playing $2-$4 PLO, i then came second in a $109 6-pack, which i should have won. - Just a minor niggle but one that was poisoning the feel good juice at the back of my brain. I didn't want to play anymore this morning, but just felt the need to go blow off some steam in a $1-$2 NLH cash game. - its amazing how expensive 'steam' is these days!....

I loaded up $200 already knowing that it may only last as long as my thinning patience would allow. It all started well until the table at-it merchant raised in late position ($10) for the 5th consecutive round. I am on the button and back raise the cheeky git with 8s-5s to $26. To my surprise, he calls (he had folded the previous 2 times) - now i know he has something and i could be in trouble but the flop could always help me (that's not me... it's the fish talking).

The flop came down 8-Q-2 (woohoo, i made a pair!) but he bets out $30 - this looks like a feeler bet with top pair, weak kicker (he wants to know if i have the over-pair or does he have top pair top kicker and he knows he has me?.. only one way to find out) so obviously having switched to 'loose-goose' mode i decide to let him know that i do in deed have AA or KK (as he already hopefully suspects) and back raise him another $60. - are you following this?..... your asking yourself whether i am the worst player in history?! - well, here's the news....just some of the time i am! He dwells for nearly his full time allowance and moves all in. Now i know for a fact he has AQ or QK but i am pot committed and have little left behind so move the rest of my stack in knowing that i am about a 4.5/1 shot to catch up (a loose fish like me knows all the odds on re-draws, live cards and back door catch ups). - Yes!!, total fish play i know but it happens sometimes.

Anyway,... i now have all my money in with 8-5o against AQ on a 8-Q-2 board just because i could't be bothered to move from the sofa and take a break and resist tilt.... or worst still fold 8-5o because i know i am behind- back to the old Greg! - i was disgusted with myself... until, wait, what's this?....... a lovely 5d on the turn! - yes!!... i caught up. i tell myself it was a great call, i had the odds and i read him for AQ beautifully. All of a sudden, i feel like Gus Hansen at a WPT final table, until another diamond on the river sends me deservedly to the chip tray and i am disgusted in myself again and severely dissappointed in my lack of patience and discipline. In with the worst of it - flopped enough to keep me interested, luck gave me hope on the turn, only to be crushed by a better hand on the river. - herein lies the evolution of the fishy hand.

So its back to basics for me. A little talking to over a nice cuppa tea and i'm ok again now. I really do recognise my tilt signs very well, i know instantly when i have that urge to do something stupid... i guess its just another step to learn to control them and respond to them accordingly. One day, maybe i'll be grown up enough to do that.